Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Roads.... Lanes..... BAM!

NO! You Guessed wrong... its actually a schematic of a 4 laned highway in Istanbul...

Notice anything wrong with it? Neither do I

The scematic is a result of short dialog between Road planner and Road building contractor, and it went something like this.

Building contractor: Are you sure? I mean it seems a little strange
Road Planner: Strange?? What are you talking about?
Building contractor: well, the road you planned has 4 lanes, right?
Road Planner: Yes
Building contractor: 2 in each direction.
Road Planner: Yes so whats the problem, can you or cant you do this?
Building contractor: I can but..... well you.... you... you put the lanes all wrong, I mean look at it... LOOK. its insane.
Road Planner: not insane, artistic. I've been planning roads for 10 years, I got bored with the same designs. Thought of trying something artistic, and as it seems it fits my art project due date at University. I submitted this design and got an A+ for it. So I decided if its good for the Academy it must be good enough for cars.
Building contractor:aww fuck it, atleast the pay is ... pay.

if Turds grew on trees they'd be named Guavas

I stubled a while ago on a blog post regarding Guava fruit. The post was praising the fruit in all its glory and marvel.

Well I have only one thing to say about that.... Its BULLCRAP , and not even the kind of crap that can be used for manure.

Lemme tell you a few facts about Guava:

* Guava - What kind of name is that for a fruit.I mean c'mmon....
* They're shaped like rotten testicles , 'Exhibit A'
* The smell - Now dont get me started on this... this crap smells worse than armpits of average plumber named Corky. And thats
before its over ripes and starts to rot. Once this 'Satan turd' reaches this final stage, it can be smelled from diffrent zip codes.
It is belived that a dozen over riped Guyava's when strategly deployed will lead immediate capitulation of midium sized country, in any type of conflict.
Alas, due to inhumanity of this approach and the difficulty to contain the spread of the Guyava fumes. World powers restrain from using or even testing this doomsday device.

* "Tommorrow you'll eat Guava for Breakfast" - Its how parents bring back the fear into their misbehaving children

I dont like this fruit, dont like it at all...

P.S M' its okay that you like those... I dont hate you... yet